Your night was was going incredibly well until you went back to your date’s apartment. That’s where you met the rude roommate. This person isn’t neat, somehow doesn’t get that you want to be alone, or plays movies and games too loudly.
If you’re like 36 percent of the renters we surveyed, you’d be out the door feeling like your relationship won’t work out. Our latest survey found that rude roommates can ruin a relationship and that more women consider this type of cohabitant a dealbreaker than men. Another 14 percent of survey renters considered a rude roommate to be a turn off.
However, if you don’t fall in either category and you want to make the situation work, here are a few ways to deal with the inconsiderate person living in your date’s apartment:
Come Over Less
The easiest way to deal with a boyfriend or girlfriend’s rude roommate is to simply stay away. Spend more time at your apartment or have dates out. Unfortunately, you may feel like you’re avoiding the problem, but some people aren’t willing to compromise. Since you don’t live in the apartment, you don’t have the authority to make demands.
Have a Conversation
After a while, you may get get fed up with the rude roommate interrupting your romantic moments, leaving his or her dishes in the sink for weeks or taking an hour to shower. Plan a time to sit down with this person and share your grievances. Make sure your significant other will back you up on it, otherwise you’ll appear to be a high-maintenance boyfriend or girlfriend. However, if your boyfriend or girlfriend has issues with the roommate too, he or she has every right to ask for change. Be firm when confronting this person, but not mean. Stay level-headed and pragmatic, offering compromises and solutions.
If your significant sees no problem with the behavior of his or her roommate, you may have issues. Siding with the rude roommate could be a character indication that shows you how he or she lives. If you keep dating, you may find that your boyfriend or girlfriend is also messy or noisy. Learn about his or her habits sooner rather than later. A dealbreaker is easier to handle when the relationship is new.
Set Ground Rules
Suggest that your significant other compose a list of apartment ground rules that must be followed by all roommates. Different guidelines can be put into categories, including music, cleaning, garbage and smoking. A ground rule might be that all music has to be listened to through headphones after midnight or dishes must be washed within 24 hours of use. Help your S.O. come up with a few ideas before he or she speaks to the roommate.
Though you may be frustrated with your date’s roommate, you should still show respect. Outright discontent will only create more tension. Show the person the type of behavior you expect to receive when you’re visiting. Wash your dishes after you and your date are done eating, keep your movies at a considerate volume and keep intimacy in the bedroom. Remember, you’re a guest, not a resident.