It’s hard to tell your parents you’re moving out. Telling your Latina mom that you’re moving out is similar to the stages of mourning. She will go through a stage of denial, anger, grief, and finally acceptance. You just have to be ready for the rollercoaster ride. If you can anticipate her reactions, you can be better prepared to share the news.  However, before you rush off to let your parents know that you’re claiming your freedom and moving out, make sure you have everything set. Have your application accepted, your roommate on board, and everything else ready to go. You don’t want to set off the parent bomb before you need to. Nothing is worse than getting an earful from Mami, Papi and Abuela, only for your credit or income to get you denied from the apartment anyway. You will have nightmares full of the “I told you so” look on your mom’s face if that happens. If you’re ready to sign your lease, have your deposit check made out, and dusted off your suitcases, use the tips below to break the news.

How to tell your parents you’re moving out

1. Be Prepared.

Your parents are going be like 50 Cent and have 21 questions, so you need to come prepared to answer them all. Don’t mention moving out until you have a concrete plan that includes how you plan on paying bills, who you are going to live with, what you plan on cooking, and your breathing schedule. No question will go unasked, so think everything through. To start the conversation off on a good note, find the right time to have the conversation. When you first mention it, your mom will look at you like you’re crazy and try to brush you off. Stay strong.

When you first mention it.

When she realizes you’re not kidding.

2. Share why you came to your decision. 

Be ready to explain why it is that you want to move and how it will help you develop your responsibility. Is it closer to your job? Does it allow you more space to study or relax? Do you finally get your own room? Be open and honest about your motivations to move out, but be mindful of everyone’s feelings. Telling your mom that she’s super annoying and you’re moving to get away from her because she’s overprotective will not go well. Demonstrate your maturity by confidently communicating your plans and how you came to your decision. At this point she will act like she doesn’t care and tell you to do what you want. This is a test. This is not the end of the conversation.

3. Have all the details on your roommates.

You know your mom is going to make this about your roommate and not about independence. Te quieres mudar con tu amiguita. Yo se!  If you haven’t run a background check on your roommates, your parents will. Mami will also have no trouble reminding you that you don’t really know someone until you live with them. You will be surprised at all the scenarios she can invent that will end your friendship. If your roommate is going to be your boyfriend. May blessings be upon you. That right there probably won’t fly.

When you tell your mom you have a roommate.

When you share that your boyfriend will be your new roommate.

4. Walk your mom through your finances.

Chances are, your mom has been cooking for you and doing your laundry for a good chunk of your life. Even if she had you helping with chores since you were two, due to the fact that you did it under her roof, you are helpless and clueless about the real world. After she gets over the initial shock and anger, she’s going to wonder how you are going to fend for yourself out there, in the big real world. Do the math for your parents. Show them that you have taken the time to think through how you are going to pay your bills, and you did calculate how much rent you can afford.

At some point, she will get mad again and call you ungrateful for everything she’s done for you. Because in her mind, somehow your decision to move out means that she was an inadequate parent.

5. Have a moving plan

Are you renting a truck, hiring movers, buying furniture etc.? Will you be buying furniture or plan to take the furniture in your room now? She is bound to walk off and vow to not help you with packing, “ni una caja” but trust, she will come around. Consider her feelings. Even though she may accept the fact that you’re an adult and it’s time for you to move on, she will be sad to see you go.

6. Leave on good terms.

To make your move and the rest of your time at home easier, let your parents know that you’re not moving out because of them. Remind them of how awesome you are and how that wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for them. They did a phenomenal job raising you, and you’re now off to make them proud. She might try to guilt trip you and act like it’s her fault you’re leaving. Don’t fall for it.

7. Share when you will return.

Many times the hardest part of you moving out is a concern with safety. Them not being able to know that you’re safe or when they will see you again causes everyone to freak out. Let’s be honest, you have’t really answered the phone lately and only want to communicate via text. Before you leave, remind everyone in your household that you love them. Leave them little notes to find later. Promise that you’ll be in touch often. Mami will prefer daily, so just say that. Assure them that you will be around for all family functions, celebrations and just because. Thank them for everything they’ve done for you. When you tell your parents you’re moving out, a lot will happen. At the end, they’ll be supportive.

 

Whether you’re ready to tell your parents you’re moving out, or about to start the process, ensure you’re financially prepared with this Rent Affordability calculator.

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