Roommate problems come in many shapes and sizes–but they are all stressful. While having a roommate isn’t the easiest task to take on, it’s one way to significantly lower your cost of living. But, living with another person, or multiple people, can be a daunting task when you realize all of the different habits that people have. It’s even worse when boyfriends and girlfriends are involved. At times, living with a roommate who is in a relationship can sometimes feel like you’re living with a couple. But there are ways to prevent awkward situations from arising and tactics to keep in mind when addressing any issues that may arise. Especially on Valentine’s Day when love is in the air, the presence of your roommate’s significant other can get annoying. Below are just a few of those tips to help make sure you and your roommate have the best living experience possible.
The idea that honesty is the best policy is true. It always has been and always will be. You’ll be much happier if you are honest with your roommates about your needs. If you find that you can’t stand having an unwelcome guest spending days on end at your place, speak up! Your roommate problems won’t go away if the other parties aren’t aware there’s an issue. Of course, you should be wise in approaching the conversation. Don’t barge into the room and demand that the guest leave. Find a time when it’s just the two of you to bring up the issue.
Start with a line like, “Hey, your boyfriend has been here a few days now and while I like him, the situation is becoming inconvenient for me. I’d really like it if he left soon so it can be just us again.” Have a list of reasons why the guest has caused distress. Be open to questions and prepare for your roommate to get defensive. Be the calm one in the situation and you’ll carry no fault. That’s not to say you should turn into a noodle–be assertive and hold your ground!
I didn’t talk to my roommate about Todd and my frustration with him built up over time. Eventually, Todd left and I found I was always angry with my roommate for relatively small things. Don’t let the tension build!
Find a Compromise
The danger of confronting your roommate is that the situation could get complicated. You may ask that their boyfriend or girlfriend comes over less, but that vagueness could lead to a plethora of additional questions.
How much less? Should I be worried when he or she does come over? Will it be uncomfortable when he or she stops in? Avoid being vague and give options or suggest compromise. For example, you could propose that the guest stay every other night or that your roommate go to the boyfriend or girlfriend’s apartment a few times a week.
Furthermore, let your roommate know that you don’t necessarily dislike the guest (as long as it’s true); you just didn’t sign the lease with this person.