By Caleb McElveen
As a former bachelor (and I say “former” with a smile), I can attest to the fact that a man’s apartment fits most stereotypical assumptions. Though there are exceptions, if you step into a bachelor’s domain you will undoubtedly know if they’re not married or if they’re living with their significant other.
While the living quarters may be clean, the sports memorabilia on the shelves, TV dinners in the freezer, and video game system under the television, proclaim this area belongs to a bachelor.
As a current married man (I also say this with a smile), I can also provide insight on how this will dramatically change. It might not occur suddenly, but over a period of time (usually short); you will start seeing your old bachelor pad convert into your new home. How can you tell if this is happening? Just start looking for these items:
1. Throw Pillows, Everywhere
I need to take a deep breath with this one. I once jumped into bed without a second thought, now I strategically remove decorative throw pillows from our bed. I don’t often provide advice, but when she brings home throw pillows (and yes, she will bring home throw pillows), do not ask “why do we need those?” Just simply smile and say “they look wonderful”.
Heed my words, it is a battle that you will not win. Eventually you will like them. But, it does take time.
2. Pictures
So, you know all of the pictures around your place of your friends and family? Yeah, I know you are saying, “I don’t have any pictures around my place”. I was in the same situation. But, now I enjoy several portraits from every holiday, special event, and our wedding on a daily basis.
You can say goodbye to the Hank Aaron poster you have on the wall as well. It will soon be replaced with a framed picture of you, your significant other, and the dog (the one you don’t let your friends know you have).
3. Candles
Why are these things so expensive? I can’t complain too much, I love candles. But I did not discover this until my wife and I started living together. After she moved in I noticed scented candles appearing in every room.
And yes, there are specific candles for each season and time of year that you must have. For the summer there are smells of sunshine and the ocean. In fall, you will experience every pumpkin combination one can conjure. How they even know what some of these things smell like is unbeknownst to me.
4. (Weird) Cooking Ingredients
Salt, pepper, BBQ sauce, that about covers it. While grilling chicken and steaks are about the extent of cooking in a bachelor pad, this will change when your significant other moves in.
While guys’ night will still require these delectable dishes, Balsamic-Cherry Braised Pork will be a more common dish with your new living situation. Spelling and pronouncing these ingredients will be challenging, but the harder the pronunciation, the better it usually tastes. Though, it would be wise to look them up first. Just to be on the safe side.
5. Actual Tupperware
So this was my train of thought; why buy Tupperware when Cool Whip and Country Crock containers do the job? Eating cereal out of a Cool Whip bowl with spaghetti stains was a common occurrence during my childhood, so there was no reason to change.
Needless to say, this was not an option with my new roommate and it won’t be with yours. Soon you will be battling with several Tupperware containers as well as looking for the top to each one, which feels like a treasure hunt each and every time.
6. Cosmetics
Take a look at your bathroom counter before she moves in. I am going to guess that you will see a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, and shaving cream, as well as plenty of counter space. Now what will you see the first week of living together? Hair curler, hair straightener, makeup, hair spray, makeup brushes, teeth whitener, face lotion, body lotion, the list goes on.
You will have your small counter space and one drawer, which is all you need. However, the cosmetics will soon take over your bathroom, so just be prepared for that. And one more thing, don’t ever rush her while she’s getting ready. She’s worth the wait.
7. Fake Fruit
You may think you know how to decorate. You know what needs to go where as well as the finishing touch to tie the whole room together. Well nothing enhances the feng shui of a room like, fake fruit?
Believe it, the lemons in the center of the table are not edible nor do they provide any scent. But they do look fabulous and add a pop of color during the spring.
8. Matching Towels
Towels are used for one thing, to get you dry. Who cares how they look, right? Actually, they need to match each other, along with the rest of the bathroom. Your few (mix and match) towels, random shower curtain, and plastic soap dispenser will soon have a theme and be in the same color scheme.
From hand towels and soap, to body towels and floor mats, your entire bathroom will be a matching paradise filled with the scent of an appropriately colored candle.
9. Cleaning Supplies
Soap and warm water are no longer the cleaning remedy for everything. Each room and item in your place will need their own specific cleaning supplies. Cleaning the floors, dusting the furniture, and cleaning the shower will take special concoctions (that usually smell nice) and some elbow grease.
Get ready to get clean and stay clean. The gym bag in your closet will be replaced with all of your special cleaning supplies.
10. Cookware
Firing up the grill is the best way to cook, anything. But with your new eating habits (as unwelcome as they may be), actual cookware will be a necessity. The empty cabinets will soon be inhabited by skillets, sauce pans, crock pots, and more. Learn to use them, because a woman loves a man that can cook. At least that’s what my wife tells me.
Drastic changes are inevitable when your special gal moves in. But, they are good changes. Accept them with open arms.
Caleb McElveen is a media relations specialists representing Allied Van Lines. Allied provides full service moving and packing services for local, cross country and international moves.
