When many of us start living with a roommate, we go into the situation with high expectations: We’ll go to concerts! And cook dinner together! And get along beautifully! While it’s certainly possible that you and your roommate will become lifelong friends, you may also encounter roommate problems along the way. Sometimes the problems get so out of hand that you find yourself thinking “I hate my roommate.” If your apartment has turned into a bad living situation and you don’t know what to do, it doesn’t have to be an irreparable problem. So, what seems to be the trouble?
My Roommate is Messy
While a few dishes in the sink every now and then are manageable, if your roommate has begun leaving laundry all over the apartment, you’re going to have a problem. If you find that you’re the only one who vacuums, cleans the hair out of the shower drain, empties the garbage and does the dinner dishes, it’s time to have a serious conversation. It can be difficult to come to a solution with dirty roommates, because clearly the mess isn’t a problem for them. One possible way to remedy the situation is to work together to create a chore chart filled with tasks that must be performed daily and weekly.
My Roommate and I Constantly Fight
When someone just rubs you the wrong way, arguments can be triggered by the most inane things. A misunderstanding about whose granola bar is whose can quickly become a full-blown fight. If you’re finding that your roommate problems are getting out of hand, it might be time to have a meeting and air out all of your grievances. After you each write out a list about what has been bothering you, set it aside so you can emotionally distance yourself from your pent up anger. After a few days, cross of items that are nonconstructive or where some of the fault may lie with you. Then, grab a coffee with your roommate and have a calm discussion about your concerns. Communication and respect could remedy your “I hate my roommate” situation.
My Roommate Never Leaves the Apartment
If your roommate is a bit antisocial and never seems to leave the apartment, you may quickly become frustrated when trying to spend some time on your own. While it can be nice to have someone to come home to, it’s annoying when you never have the apartment to yourself–particularly if you live in a small space. To get your roommate out of the apartment, suggest activities that you can do together, like heading to the park or a museum. You may even want to invite your roommate out with you on the weekends to meet some of your other friends and bring her out of her shell. Help your roommate meet people and the problem may fix itself. If it’s not working, you may have to have a conversation about personal space.
