Living with someone, whether he or she is a roommate or significant other, who has a personality type that’s different from yours can cause tension. Each type views the world in a unique way, and we often have a difficult time understanding the perspective of someone with a radically different paradigm.
Fortunately, you can learn to value your roomie’s or significant other’s world view and change a few habits to make living together a little more harmonious.
And if you’re a type-A person living with a type B, then you’ll need these tips for making the apartment a more pleasant living environment:
Don’t Compete
Whether you want to play a board game on roommate date night or you’re going over who did what chores, don’t make it about competition. Type As tend to want to win at everything (think Monica Geller from “Friends”), but type-B personalities aren’t that way. Generally, they lack competitive spirit and would rather do activities in which there is no winner or loser.
Keep that in mind when you start to compare who cleaned the sink better or when Monopoly ticks into its fourth hour of game play. Just have fun with your roomie and he or she will feel generally happier.
Give Them Quiet Space
Type Bs are prone to getting lost in thought. They are often reflective and introspective, and their moments of zoning out may seem like laziness to you. Instead of berating your significant other or roommate for getting lost in the clouds and wasting the day, let him or her be.
In fact, you may want to take a cue from your calm friend– type As often totally book their time and tend to overwork themselves. So give your roommate quiet alone time and take some for yourself as well.
Listen
Many type Bs are very expressive emotionally, so witnessing joy, sadness, anger, and excitement will become part of your everyday life. Embrace this and you’ll live with your type-B friend or significant other more harmoniously.
Instead of getting impatient, learn to actively listen to your roommate, allowing him or her to vent feelings. You don’t always have to provide a solution (unless your roomie asks for one), just be there to listen and support.
Avoid Nagging
Even though type Bs are totally capable of reaching their full potential, they’re often more laid back and tend to procrastinate. When it comes to chores and paying rent, this trait might drive you up a wall.
However, it’s important to realize that your roommate’s or S.O.’s procrastination is not an affront to you. Just because he or she hasn’t done the dishes yet doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t care about you. Your roomie just might not see washing dishes as an important task the way you do.
If you get into disputes about chores, calmly explain why it bothers you that he or she isn’t as diligent, and listen to his or her side.
Also, avoid nagging. Constantly reminding your roommate to clean may make him or her feel incapable or like you don’t view him or her as a functioning adult. Type Bs will get to their chores, just at a different pace, and that’s OK.
Know When to Push
Because type Bs are laid back and tend to procrastinate, they often don’t put forth the effort necessary to reach their life goals, even though they’re more than able to do so when they try. For this reason, many type Bs benefit from having people with A personalities in their lives. You can provide the encouragement and push they need to achieve their goals.
Know the difference between nagging and encouraging, and provide the latter when it’s appropriate. Remind your roommate or S.O. that he or she is talented and capable. Basically, provide a confidence boost every now and then.
With these tips, you and a your type-B roomie or significant other will be on the way to apartment harmony.
